Pull

You pull left

You pull right

They pull forward

They pull back.

Can't you see what this is doing to me?

I am being ripped to pieces and no one cares.

I am being torn to shreds and no one sees.

Sometimes I think it would be easier to just disappear.

Glimmer

I search through the darkness.

Its pitch black.

I squint my eyes because I think I see something....but that seems impossible.

No there it is. A faint glow.

As I move slowly closer the faint glow becomes brighter and brighter.

I am standing in front of it now.

As I look down to see what is glowing... its a glimmer of hope smiling up at me.

Unimportant

How many times must you be told your not important before you believe it?

You are not as important as this person.

You are second to that.

You are selfish.

You should stop caring about yourself.

You should stop thinking about what you want.

You no longer have a right to have a life of your own.

You stopped counting.

By the way...love you.

Yeah I can tell.

Hurt

How someone can be so vindictive.

To try to hurt someone who wont even fight back and in some cases can't fight back.

What's the point.

Love is all you have to believe in.

If you have love and share it with at least one person it makes the world a happier place.

Walls

Nights like these when the sadness overwhelms me I just want to cry.

It doesn't help. The sadness still exists.

The tears flow down my face like raindrops from a rain cloud.

When will I find the will to stop caring.

To ignore my heart.

To become jaded once again and shove everyone back out.

If I am closed then I can't feel.

To be numb again would be an escape.

To feel nothing would be a relief.

My walls will be built back up.

I will remain in the nothingness forever.

Will you wait for me?

I wonder if I will ever understand why life is the way it is.

I am sure there is a point to all of this.

Though I am not sure what it is.

I feel like a hiker lost without a compass.

Just when I think I am finding my way....I lose it once again.

Will I ever see the light through the darkness?

Will the end ever come?

I have set my course.

My path I have chosen.

The end result remains to be seen.

Broken

Just like the clock on the wall who's hands no longer move.

My spirit is broken.

Just like the branch that fell from the tree.

My mind is broken.

Just like the glass that shatters on the floor.

My heart is broken.

There is no fix. There is no remedy.

A broken soul wandering this life alone forever.

Desolation

The desolation of my soul is a never ending chasm of despair.

To feel empty inside everyday.

What would it be like to feel normal?

To not have to pretend.

To have requited love.

To always be happy.

I'll never know.

From Darkness to Light

In a world with so much evil it is amazing how a beacon of hope shines.

The hope of millions.

The dread of one.

The price paid, the highest possible.

The end will be coming...fast approaching.

Darkness then light.

The Gift

My heart sings in rejoice the sacrifice that was made for me.

So unworthy..unable to ever be worthy.

Yet eternally grateful.

Forever will I sing in gratitude.

Forever unable to completely express the gloriousness of the gift.

The Air I breathe

You are like the air I breathe.

The scent of your skin is like the dew of a new morning.

Your eyes shine clear like the beauty of your soul.

Your lips only flow with the words of love.

Your sincerity cannot be doubted.

To hold you in my arms forever would be like heaven.

To lose you would be hell.

The air I breathe would no longer flow.

If you were to never care.

Happy Place

In my happy place that is where I sit with you.

You slide a strand of my hair behind my ear as I read, smiling.

Your breath is warm against my skin as you sigh.

I look into your eyes. They are smiling too.

We are happy serene.

Then the dream is over and I am alone.

The chagrin floods my face as the gravity sets in.

Sadness mixes with hope and faith that I will one day sit with you in that place.

The dreams of my heart shall not fade.

The hope for requited, irrevocable love that is with you in my place.

Traitor

I war with myself daily.

I am in a tunnel searching for the light.

Will it ever come? This I know not.

The sadness overwhelms me.

Will it ever end? This I know not.

Now the traitor tears flow.

Will they ever stop? This I know not.

Bleeding Soul

To bleed is to feel.

The color of strawberries being squeezed in your hand.

I am numb.

What senses you say do not seem to feel.

All of them.

I can see straight to your soul through your eyes.

It is beautiful.

It makes me cry.

The mistake

The strength you exhibit through courage astounds me.

To be free with out consequences and worry.

The world is so beautiful yet so ugly at the same time.

Why must it be this way?

One mistake and it ends.

Shiv says blog...so I blog

So my dear friend Shiv told me I should blog. So here's my blog. It will be nothing but ramblings of things that I write when I need to. They tend not to be happy so don't expect sunshine and rainbows. If you are going to judge me or call me crazy then please don't read my blog. I know that I'm crazy already. So Shiv thank you for your support. Your awesome. *hugs*. You are one of the best writers and people I know. I truly hope you fulfill your dreams.